Grab Life Big

Grab Life Big

In today’s episode of Startup Hustle, Matt Watson tackles the value of work-life balance with Chris Ryan. Our guest is the CEO of GoBundance—who also shares the benefits of joining transactional communities.

Covered In This Episode

Are you living a good life? More often than not, people answer this question in terms of wealth or material possessions. But what if you ponder a reply within the bounds of fulfillment, joy, and happiness?

That’s exactly what Matt and Chris did. They share tips on how entrepreneurs can lead a well-balanced life to become a better person. The executives also discuss the value of connecting with like-minded people and nurturing relationships through transactional groups.

Get Started with Full Scale

It’s time to live life to the fullest! Tune in to this Startup Hustle episode today!

Tips for Business Growth from Startup Hustle

Highlights

  • The Christopher Ryan backstory (01:45)
  • What does Mastermind mean? (03:56)
  • On forming communities (05:35)
  • A discussion on transactional groups (08:47)
  • On the right people joining transactional groups (11:37)
  • The benefits of joining transactional groups (13:49)
  • The typical demographics joining GoBundance (15:17)
  • On buying and collecting more stuff (21:38)
  • Living the minimalist lifestyle (24:23)
  • Chris’ take on why people aren’t happy (26:19)
  • Tidbits of advice for entrepreneurs (28:44)
  • Strategies that help keep your focus (32:13)
  • The value of joining communities and your self-development (38:00)

Key Quotes

All of us can benefit from finding folks and connecting with those around us that support us in our efforts. In return, we can support them . . . So think about the people that are around you. Are they supportive of you? Are they life learners along with you? Do they encourage you? Or do they help promote you?

– Chris Ryan

There are misconceptions. Generally, the people that have a lot of money don’t even care about the money. It’s not important to them. But when people, you know, who don’t have a lot of money, that’s like everything to them. That perception and that status.

– Matt Watson

It starts with wanting more than simply to live on the hedonic treadmill of life. To focus on the material side of things. In working with some of these exceptional organizations, like TIGER 21, which I spent nine years with. And there are a lot of people with a lot of wealth that later in their later years in life have some really serious regrets.

– Chris Ryan
Build your Business

Rough Transcript

The following is an auto-generated text transcript of this episode.

00:00.00

Matt Watson

And we’re back for another episode of the Startup Hustle. This is your host today, Matt Watson, and today, I’m excited to be joined by Chris Ryan from GoBundance. We’re going to talk about all the things entrepreneurs need help with, which is balancing their life and connecting with other like-minded entrepreneurs. Before we jump into that, I want to remind everybody that today’s episode of Startup Hustle is powered by FullScale.io. Hiring software developers is difficult. Full Scale can help you build a software team quickly and affordably. And has a platform to help you manage that team. Visit FullScale.io to learn more. Chris, how are you doing today?

00:31.98

Christopher Ryan

Hey, Matt, it’s great to see you. I’m super glad to be on the call. As I mentioned a second ago, I am really grateful for the opportunity for us to spend some time together.

00:41.22

Matt Watson

Well, so, before we jump into everything today, I would love to learn more about you and your journey. You’re the CEO of GoBundance. Tell us some more about your journey and what GoBundance is.

00:55.20

Christopher Ryan

My journey is kind of an interesting tale by a background technology entrepreneur. A startup guy built and sold a bunch of companies and did a stint in the nonprofit world. After I got him, my last business, as a way to tithe back and then stumbled into the Mastermind Space. I started an organization and then, in 2012, connected with a group called Tiger 21. Ran the Dallas, Austin, and San Juan, Puerto Rico chapters. That ended my stint right as COVID was rolling in. Within about 70 minutes of my resignation from Tiger 21, one of my very good friends and one of the four owners of GoBundance reached out. And said, before you do anything else, let’s talk. And I came on board GoBundance at the end of July 2020 and have been their CEO ever since. And to be honest with you, I believe I’m doing some of the most important, impactful, and significant work of my life. I’m grateful and appreciative of the opportunity I have to do that with abundance.

02:11.24

Matt Watson

Well, I feel like we all get to a stage in our career where we realize giving back and helping train and mentor other people is potentially the most viable thing we can do. Is that a fair statement?

02:23.21

Christopher Ryan

It has the ultimate leverage, right? It’s no different than you know. I have a daughter. You may have kids. You know there is an infinite return on education and mentorship done. Well. And I think part of our responsibility on this planet is to find a way to leave the world. A better place is what we found, and I believe mentoring provides the opportunity to do that. I believe masterminding provides that, and for sure, I have been mentored by some absolutely great human beings. And I think part of my responsibility as I get older and pick up more gray hair is to do the same for the next generation in a way to leave them in a good position. Hopefully, if not better than where I found it.

03:09.42

Matt Watson

So you mentioned the word mastermind. So for those who are listening that may not know what that means, can you explain what Mastermind is?

03:15.36

Christopher Ryan

You know it’s as if I’m being completely direct with you. It’s an overused term. So let me frame it. So um, GoBundance is an organization of successful and accomplished men and women in the organization and what we do is we come together to fellowship and to connect to learn to grow and to support each other on what’s most important to life, you know, maybe it’s. We’re on a path of investment. Maybe it’s because we’re looking to work with our health. Maybe it’s relationships in the struggles that we all have with spouses with children with parents with siblings. You know at the end of the day. It’s not good enough for us simply to be successful. We all need to find fulfillment, satiation, and significance in our lives that transcend the almighty dollar and the mastermining or the community that we’ve created in that learning and growing that I mentioned a second ago is all about. Finding ways to create value and impact in our lives not only with respect to money but with everything else that’s important to us.

04:37.29

Matt Watson

So when you say that there are hundreds of people in this group. How do these people connect and interact with each other then I mean, how do you figure out like you know, is it more of a local thing and and I connect with a local chapter or like how do I How do I figure out of this. You know hundreds of people who I would connect with.

04:53.42

Christopher Ryan

So the key to building any form of community, and I’ve done this a number of different times is to create intimacy on a real and meaningful level as you would expect when organizations get larger that becomes harder to harder to do.

05:10.19

Matt Watson

Yeah.

05:13.25

Christopher Ryan

So I shared with you just a simple demographic number in terms of the quantity. What I’m actually way more proud of is not the quantity of the organization in terms of the size and the number of the members but rather the quality of the membership and the engagement that we have. So in abundance we have 750 plus high character value moral and ethical men. As an example, we’re all relationally driven. We’re not transactionally focused. Everyone’s a life learner. Everybody knows how to check their ego at the door. And in the world of GoBundance. Obviously we all individually benefit from it. But it’s just as important that we look to help them in the GoBundance Ben’s organization, the men to the left and to the right of us and we really have a community mindset in terms of if one of us gets better all of us get better and the. Organization is set up such that there are multiple touch touch points. So we have local chapters. We have small intimate groups of 4 to 6 that are called GoPots. We have regional conferences that we put on. We have national conferences we put on. We have trips that literally take us all over the world. We came up in Croatia in September um, we have what we call micro tribes based around asset classes or interests. So as an example I’m doing an event in Tennessee later this month and we’re bringing in our. Military vets group of which we have about 40 I’m bringing in our ground and spartan team of which we have about 35 and I’m bringing in the Nashville folks and we’re going to do a day of communing and connecting together through a series of programs that we have and then we’re going to go spend the better part of a day. On an outdoor pistol reigns shooting weapons and raising money for a charity that is focused on going into Ukraine right now and helping orphans and refugees get from the dangerous areas of Ukraine to what are the safe areas of the country.

07:17.40

Matt Watson

So I’ve been to similar kinds of local events like this before, you know, um, and a lot of times they almost felt like. So for example, it seems like a lot of them were like realtors or. Lawyers and wealth management people or whatever that were trying to build their network and like ultimately sell stuff right? and it’s like they were trying to drag me there as a guest and like they’d bring in a speaker and like I would go to these events and like to have breakfast or something and you know I There are a lot of those kinds of groups as well. They’re there.

07:46.27

Christopher Ryan

Um, sure.

07:51.68

Matt Watson

Some of those with varying levels of 6 ah of success and stuff though right? but you know what I’m talking about.

07:55.28

Christopher Ryan

Absolutely and and again right so it comes back to what I said a second ago, so there are a lot of groups that are transactional. You go to an investment club. You’re gonna be looking at investments. You go to a real estate forum and I promise you they’re going to be talking about real estate. So. What we do. There are a few things one is we have a code of conduct that says anyone new to the organization can’t sell diddly squat for a period of twelve months so let’s assume you’re the greatest real estate broker in your particular geography. You can’t be talking about selling your real estate in your geography in terms of solicitation with their members for twelve months after you roll in the door. So for the first year. Everybody has a more intent moratorium on selling either a service or a product and investing a platform for themselves that gets rid of the folks that come in.

08:48.60

Matt Watson

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

08:49.40

Christopher Ryan

And simply use the organization as a channel by which to sell and there’s a lot of that going on across all organizations so that gets through to the transactional side of it. The other thing is that this organization as I said before is relationally driven. You know. If I bring you to a conference and as an example I get my friend David Sinclair who wrote the book lifespan to come in and talk to an audience or so about what are the things that you can do to improve the longevity of you and your wife but then more importantly. What are things that you can do for your kids, starting with the banking of stem cells of your children when they’re young, it’s things like that. There’s no definition. Ah ROI. There’s no investment opportunity. There’s no hustle There’s no vague. There’s no way to monetize that information from a transactional standpoint but Matt I didn’t get a chance to ask. you do you have children brother. Okay, so with all due respect, you and I are having this great call.

09:49.91

Matt Watson

I have 4 little boys.

09:58.20

Christopher Ryan

Things are going Well we’re you know building a micro relationship. That’s fantastic. Let’s assume I offered a piece of advice to you that was of benefit to you. That’s great I would argue that if there is something that I could do to benefit you. That’s good if there’s something that I could do to benefit longevity health. And wellness of your 4 sons as a parent that’s a mic drop moment and so the focus of GoBundance. It’s not good enough just to benefit you. It’s important. We benefit you not only as a professional as an investor as a high net wealth individual but you as a husband.

10:21.44

Matt Watson

Sure.

10:36.12

Christopher Ryan

And then ah ultimately you as a father in the context of not only your kids but in leaving a legacy that you and your family could be proud of.

10:42.99

Matt Watson

So the GoBundance and similar types of groups like this who are the target people. So if people are listening to this today. They’re like well if this is this something that would be right for me is and you know who is the right kind of person that typically joins these types of groups.

10:58.20

Christopher Ryan

Yeah, so there’s an easy answer to that and there’s a hard answer I’m going to give you both the easy answer is we have two divisions amongst the men’s group within GoBundance we have an organization called the GoBundance elite and that’s made up of roughly about 570 members minimum net wealth requirement outside of their homes and personal effects then we also have a champions group that has about folks and that has a minimum net wealth requirement of demographically men. At either a greater than one or greater than $5000000 net wealth level that would get you the ability to fill out an application for GoBundance. What I’ll tell you is that that literally is about 15% of the puzzle. What is infinitely more important and consistent with my comment earlier about focusing on the quality of the membership that we have is we want to know how you show up in the context of being a parent or being a husband of the relationships that you have with respect to your businesses. How much of a community leader. How involved are you with philanthropy, how important is your physical health and your interest in staying healthy so that you can provide for everyone and the communities that are around you. It’s not good enough. Just to be a millionaire in GoBundance that candidly as I said is a minor part of the overall starting block of where we come from in terms of what we look for. We’re looking for people that are interested to grow and to learn and to evolve along with everyone else in the organization. And are willing as I said earlier to put their ego at the door and show up in a way that not only benefits them but benefits everyone that they come in contact with.

12:55.30

Matt Watson

So what about all those other people that obviously don’t meet these, you know, kind of net worth requirements, right? but could really value groups like this. What do you do? What do you say to them?

13:06.55

Christopher Ryan

So here’s what I say and let’s take GoBundance out of the picture. All of us can benefit from finding folks and connecting with those around us that support us in our efforts in return we can support them. You’ve heard the cliche you’re the sum of the people that you hang around with, you know, look. It’s a cliche for a reason. It’s legit. So think about the people that are around you, are they supportive of you, are they life learners along with you. Do they encourage you or do they help promote you?

13:27.43

Matt Watson

Absolutely.

13:43.85

Christopher Ryan

Candidly, we have a term called confrontation or care confrontation. Do they when they see a blind spot or something that you’re doing that’s off, do they pull you aside and say look Matt I care about you a lot but brother. You got to go easy on the cheeseburgers right? You’ve put on £35 in the last six months you know what’s going on are you are you are you eating your challenges away or whatever the case may be the reality is that all of us can benefit from that and there are a lot of great organizations that are out there and GoBundance by far is not the only one. But if an organization like that is of interest to you I think everyone is beholden on them. Not only as. For their own journey. But for the benefit of their family to find an organization like abundance and engage.

14:26.63

Matt Watson

I feel like most of the people that join these groups would describe them as entrepreneurs or business owners or just working professionals. There may be managers or executives.

14:37.91

Christopher Ryan

Yeah, it’s all of the above. So we don’t discriminate in any way shape or form based on profession and we have gentlemen that are in the organization that are worth it. I think our largest is probably 850000000 so as I said earlier the wealth is only one component. I’m less interested in a profession or for that matter a wealth number I’m more interested in attitude and the attitude as I said before starts with being relational. And starts with wanting more than simply to live on the hedonic treadmill of life and to focus on the material side of things because especially in working with some of these exceptional organizations like tiger twenty one which I spent 9 years and there are a lot of people with a lot of wealth. That later in their later years in life have some really serious regrets. So if you’re on your marriage number and you’re 65 years old and you have all the money you’ll ever need to spend in the bank account. There’s still. There’s still some work to be done and I wouldn’t necessarily call you a success and I think one of the things that stuff especially in our society is with our culture. We kind of default to the lowest common value in terms of what defines success and in no way shape or form does that define happiness.

16:02.20

Matt Watson

Well, I’ve definitely learned that myself. I mean I I sold my first company when I was 29 years old and you know how a huge exit and you know just definitely changed my life and it changed my perspective on a lot of things right? and at a very very young age and you know what’s funny now when I see people that wear designer stuff and they act like they’re rich and all this up. They’re not usually one of them. It’s usually the dude that’s wearing gym shorts and flip flops that walks into the Mercedes deal. He’s the guy that can write the check and like it doesn’t matter to him right. The guy who walks in, you know, looking like he’s worth a lot of money is the guy who doesn’t have any money. It’s just everything is totally different. But I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong, but I just feel like there are so many things about life. There are misconceptions, and generally, the people that have a lot of money don’t even care about the money. It’s not important to them. But when people you know who don’t have a lot of money that’s like everything to them is that perception and that status of that. Are you following me?

17:03.11

Christopher Ryan

Yeah, and and and all of us just think about this, Matt, all of us truly live like Kings and queens my suspicion is that your audience no different than mine has a roof over their head. You know, food security in terms of where the next meal is coming from, having a job, having a family. You know we are all living like Kings and queens of a hundred years ago actually we’re living better than them and so yeah, so it’s not about the material stuff. You know when I think of it.

17:32.11

Matt Watson

Um, way better.

17:41.20

Christopher Ryan

What is most satiating and fulfilling and meaningful to me starts with my family and the relationships that I hold there. It’s the charities that I work with and my ability to create impact in the lives of others that you know some of the beneficiaries will never ever know my name. No Problem. You know I found that. What motivates and inspires me at the ripe old age of 54 right now is very different from what inspired me and respectfully you know I’ve made a number of big mistakes since I got divorced.

18:07.33

Matt Watson

You.

18:15.77

Christopher Ryan

I’ve had some relationships go sour because I’ve worked too hard or I wasn’t fully present and this isn’t unique to me. It’s not a Chris Ryan condition, it’s kind of a universal thing. You know a lot of times especially in our 20s and 30s we focus. What we believe the world sees as most important rarely is that what we ultimately believe is most important, so one of the exercises we do in abundance is we make people write their own eulogy and you think about it.

18:36.55

Matt Watson

Right.

18:53.63

Christopher Ryan

What you want said and it’s ah it’s a dark thought so sorry to take you there but Matt you think about what you want said when you are past and all the people that care about you and love you are around you. It’s not your resume brother. It’s not that they don’t care about the size of your bank account. They don’t care how many businesses you sold, what they want to know is how you show up. Did your children. Love you, you were a good person. Were you a good friend? Did you make a difference in the world far greater than yourself were you looking and trying to find purpose? Greater than yourself a lot of people spend their life building their resume at the cost of building their eulogy and when you bring that forward and you make people think about their mortality what we’ve done before and it’s a little cruel but you get it. As an example I read my eulogy to a group of folks and then they had to respond in terms of how real was that versus the way they experienced me and sometimes it’s in sync yay sometimes it’s not and in those gaps in those chasms. Disconnect. There’s opportunity for us to be better people and I believe ultimately GoBundance helps all of its men and women that are part of the organization become better people and that truly is I think one of the highest calling of a masterminds group that any of us could hope for.

20:26.80

Matt Watson

I love it. So before we continue down that thought, I would like to remind everybody that the sponsor of today’s episode is Full Scale. Finding expert software developers doesn’t have to be difficult. Especially when you visit FullScale.io where you can build a software team quickly and affordably. Use the Full Scale platform to define your technical needs and see what available developers, testers, and leaders are ready to join your team. Please visit FullScale.io to learn more. You know, I feel like when I was younger and I feel like most people it feels like their goal in life is to collect stuff and like. More stuff. It’s like oh you got all this money. You’re going to buy more cars and a lakehouse and this and that and whatever and then I feel like I want less stuff. I want nothing, like I like the more stuff you have the more stress you have and like people always joke like more money more problems but it’s absolutely true. It’s like if you have a lake house and I have all the shit that’s wrong with the lake house and I have to worry about all this shit all the time and I have to go to the Lake House, I feel guilty because I don’t go to the lake house right? like I just laugh at those people now I’m like dude I don’t want any of that shit of it. Nothing I don’t want anything gives me this simple life.

21:35.20

Christopher Ryan

Yeah, totally get it. Well here’s the deal and I’ll modify a little bit of what you said. It’s not giving me a simple life. It gives me a fulfilling life and gives me the life that brings me joy.

21:51.90

Matt Watson

Yeah, yeah.

21:53.54

Christopher Ryan

Give me the life that brings me satiation, give me the life that makes me feel significant. You know, look we’re we’re all, we’re all subjects. We’re all victims of this thing called the human condition right? All of us want to be seen, all of us want to be heard.

22:03.26

Matt Watson

Um, yeah.

22:11.79

Christopher Ryan

All of us want to be loved and all of us want to be validated if you take any of those building blocks away from you man life sucks and so you know if you don’t have someone to love when you wake up in the morning if you don’t have someone to love you if you don’t have a purpose if you’re not doing something man. Life gets hard regardless of how much shit you have around you. You know I’ve known some insanely wealthy people with some phenomenal houses and they they would call them their castles, and respectfully, I would call them their prisons because you can become a slave. To your things and no one no one walks away from that situation unscathed I don’t care who you are no matter how many millions Tens hundreds billions of dollars you have if you are a slave to all of the stuff that’s around you man, you know the.

22:50.31

Matt Watson

Absolutely.

23:09.10

Christopher Ryan

The minimal lifestyle is making a pretty strong comeback and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t, given the fact that we focus on a lot of the lowest common denominator things that we think will make us happy. But ultimately I think to track our ability to find our purpose. Calling our fulfillment our joy and that satiation in life that when we do roll into the next world have a lot of people talking about how great a human being Matt was.

23:38.28

Matt Watson

Yeah, and you’re absolutely right? And um, I’ve spent a lot of time in the Philippines, which is more of a developing country, and that’s where my wife is from, and it’s a whole different world. I mean you know the way that my wife’s family and my wife’s parents live and all this stuff. It’s a humbling experience right? I mean they. They have a lot less of the modern luxuries that we have, but in many ways they’re way happier to wear. They just live a simpler life. They care about family more than anything and ah you know a lot of the artificial crap that we chase on a daily basis. They don’t have and don’t care about and don’t matter. And um, that has had a lasting effect on me for sure.

24:20.49

Christopher Ryan

I’m blessed to work with a group of about 11 folks in the Philippines in the context of them being virtual assistants for organization. They are the hardest working, the most joyful; they are happy.

24:29.15

Matt Watson

Yeah, there you go.

24:38.12

Christopher Ryan

You know we’re on Zoom calls at all ungodly hours to them and they are fully present fully engaged they work their butts off they do it for absolutely pennies on the dollar compared to what they would be offered here in the United States and I am grateful to each and every one and at the end of the year when we give them their bonuses.

24:57.67

Matt Watson

Um, yeah I know yeah.

24:58.60

Christopher Ryan

Nothing compared to what we would see here in the United States they’re the most appreciative most grateful I’ve had a few of them cry on Zoom call because they don’t know what to do with with the the gifts that we’re throwing at them and brother if if that’s the kind of response I get from folks like that. I can’t hire enough of them and I can’t pay him enough. Yeah, you get it.

25:17.12

Matt Watson

I know we have employees in the Philippines and you know like I said it’s where my wife and and family’s from so it’s a whole different world. Yeah, I mean we have a lot of American employees that are not very grateful for their jobs and complain about everything in the world, and then you’ve got people over there that are just you. You pay him. You know every couple weeks and they tell you thank you. It’s a whole different whole different world. We live in you know and ah, you know so many people are um I don’t I just want to just don’t I don’t know how to really describe. They’re just not very happy with life and and and you know like you said earlier we have so many modern luxuries in life that people just take for granted and ah they want more. You know, nobody’s happy with what they have. It’s almost like a disease in our culture.

25:58.70

Christopher Ryan

Yeah, and it’s because we get bombarded with so many bullshit messages in terms of what makes us happy. It’s those extra special bedazzled jeans Matt that you need to buy that’s going to make you happier.

26:11.71

Matt Watson

Yes, and a $1300 new iPhone.

26:17.12

Christopher Ryan

Matt you need to buy of course or Matt you need to buy a new car Matt you need to buy a new face cream to look pretty whatever the heck it is right? We are chasing the wrong dragons in life and that is very much capitalistic.

26:23.64

Matt Watson

Oh yeah.

26:29.38

Matt Watson

Um, yep.

26:36.70

Christopher Ryan

Mindset and mentality as I said earlier you know we have pillars in GoBundance you know one of the first ones is horizontal income if you were not to work tomorrow would you still be able to provide for your wife. And for your sons and for your family right? So we want to be secure there. We also have ah ah, generous giving in terms of philanthropy. We are involved in helping others that are less fortunate than us that can then go out and have meaningful and purposeful lives of their own. Ah, we believe in age-defying health. We take care of our bodies with exercise, nutrition and sleep. We have epic adventures. Ah, we have authentic relationships and then we have extreme accountability for all of those things. Are like pistons in the engine of living not only an authentic life but a significant meaningful purposeful and legacy- driven life and so if we’re doing any one or 2 of those really well but it comes at the cost of of others of those then we’re missing the boat and we’re leaving the opportunity of a better life on the table and the gift of GoBundance the gift of GoBundance is that we help everyone including ourselves hopefully fire on all 6 of those pistons.

28:02.64

Matt Watson

So what advice do you have for the entrepreneurs out there that are listening to this and they’re like man I just started this company I got a full-time job I’m working another 30 hours a week trying to get my my company started up on the side or I just started this company and I’m working 70 hours a week trying to make this thing work. You know what? What advice do you have to those people on trying to balance their life and and um, you know, not not just working themselves to death?

28:28.10

Christopher Ryan

Um, um, life balance is an insanely overrated pipe dream. It’s like ah all of the little kids that grew up on a like Ken and Barbie dolls the the barbie doll is one of the most. Completely unattainable disproportionate ah like body figures you could ever imagine to hope for, but because there were hundreds of millions of those doled out over the you know 50 60 1780 s, there’s a false standard that’s put in place. There are times in life. Where life ebbs and flows and especially to young entrepreneurs. They absolutely may need to work seventy eighty ninety one hundred hours a week. I’ve done it but it always comes at a cost. What all of us need to focus on is being able to pull back and reassess where we are in life so that we can make it. Micro adjustments on a recurrent basis to get back in alignment with family with health with relationships and there are short-term gains that can be gained from getting out of alignment. But nobody walks through life as a full-time entrepreneur that works 60 hours 70 hours a week for 35 years and walks away unscathed. You know you have four sons, I have one daughter. What would you not do for the health and safety of your children? The answer is nothing. You would do everything. The challenge is for a lot of us including myself growing up as an entrepreneur with businesses. It was easy for me to get distracted. It was easy for me to construct with work. It’s easy for me to get distracted with this thing. Goes off like a Pavlovian Bell every 2 minutes you know the reality is we have to be deliberate about getting focused on what’s important to us because if we lose focus, I promise you it will not only come at a cost but oftentimes it comes as a regret.

30:23.15

Matt Watson

Um, yep.

30:40.94

Christopher Ryan

You don’t want to regret the relationships that are important to you, much less lose them. You don’t want to regret your health because when you’re later on in life and god forbid you have some kind of a medical condition that’s incurable all the money on the planet’s not going to fix that. You know so as a silly example Steve Jobs was 56 when he left this earth that guy was worth you know? However, many of that mattered and respectfully I think it’s super easy for us to lose sight of that and with all these different groups that have run over the course of the years and for sure for sure with abundance we make it a point to keep all of those things that are most important to us those pillars that I mentioned top of mind. So if I see if you and I were in abundance together and I saw you slacking on – of them. It is not only my obligation but out of care. It’s my responsibility to say hey Matt. Think about doing this a little bit differently. Have you spent enough time with your wife, are your kids seeing you show up at their baseball practice or whatever it is that it is because you have summers with your 4 boys from the time they’re born and brother that’s summers.

31:49.50

Matt Watson

Um, yeah.

31:55.91

Christopher Ryan

That is not a lot of time and then when they leave the roost be it college job marriage children of their own If you magically think you’re gonna be seeing more time with them, think again.

32:09.21

Matt Watson

Yeah I saw a staggering statistic one day. It was like eighty something percent of the time you’ll ever spend with your children is before the age of 18 like the amount of time you see them kind of after that. Very quickly diminishes. You know it’s like you see him a couple hours here in a couple hours there or whatever but compared to when they lived with you when they were younger. It’s a small fraction.

32:30.33

Christopher Ryan

And so you gotta there’s strategies that we use to combat stuff like that. So as an example, my daughter is 20 years old. She’s going to school in Nashville Tennessee and she loves me most right before she asked me for money surprise surprise surprise I’m a walk talk in ATM now. Do I call my child every day and tell her I love her? You damn skippy I do. I send her text messages or crack out simple poems. She’s a business music songwriter going to Belmont College in Nashville, Tennessee. Do I write her a little silly song. do do I lightly annoy her by the pestering of calling your father back. Or any of the stupid stuff that I throw at her for sure I do does that child know that I love her with all my heart I would lay down a traffic for her tomorrow absolutely and the other thing that’s interesting and you’ll appreciate. This is I got a great piece of advice from a buddy mine thirty-forty years ago and his comment was no child’s opinion ever matters of their parents until well after the age of 25 so my kid can like me not like me think I’m the greatest thing I’m the worst that’s okay until she matures to a point where she’s you know, fully cognizant of where she is in life. And can appreciate what I did and the sacrifices and the heartache I endured to help get her into the place where ultimately she’s at her best. It matters so much that is incredibly comforting at times like you know I sometimes have to have to call her once or two times for her to return my phone call once. And um I think that is a struggle that a lot of parents go through.

34:10.59

Matt Watson

Yeah, I have had a stepmom in my life when I was you know, about fourteen years old and her ah the way she parented her other daughters I was totally different right? Like I was the kid that would never respond to anything, leave me alone. Or my so my stepsisters were the ones that like to talk to mom every day talk to mommer day right? Like you would be the father that would probably annoy me like I’m not responding to any of this. Every kid is totally different.

34:29.84

Christopher Ryan

Of course.

34:35.99

Christopher Ryan

yeah I trust yeah I my daughter’s name is bishop and I promise you I annoy the living but Jesus tomorrow out of her. We’re actually very much alike and a quick story and I know I’m targeting and and I beg the indulgence of your listeners on silly stories like this. But when my kid was young. Um, she went to music camp and I wanted to talk to her every day to find out what’s going on. The camp was insanely expensive, long and short. She didn’t respond to me for three days. I wound up pulling her out of class to get her to talk to me and see what’s going on with her. She was mortified and mega mad at me for pulling her out of class and embarrassing her in front of her fellow students coming back into the songwriting classroom. She’s huffing and puffing out of shape, and her teacher is like well what’s wrong with you. She’s like my dad, he’s controlling. He’s demanding. He’s a monster pain in the ass. And so to the teacher’s credit. She said? Well why don’t why don’t you write a song about it. So I’m not making this up, and if you go on Apple Spotify her name is Bishop Abigail she has a song called blind. She has another song called good for a song out there but far and away my best song. Hers is called the judge and it’s all about how much of an over controlling demand. Ah asshole of a father. She has yeah cool I’m like wow Bishop, I’m your muse. She’s like, no, you’re not dead. No, you’re not.

35:56.19

Matt Watson

Ah, there you go. You’re giving her material to work with. I love it.

36:04.26

Matt Watson

Well, as we wrap up the show here, I’ll remind everybody that today’s episode of Startup Hustle is brought to you by FullScale.io. Do you need to hire software engineers, testers, or leaders? Let Full Scale help. We have the people on the platform to help you build and manage a team of experts. When you visit FullScale.io, all you need to do is answer a few questions and let our platform match you up with our fully vetted, highly experienced team of software engineers, testers, and leaders at Full Scale. We specialize in building long-term teams that work only for you. Learn more when you visit FullScale.io. So I think this has been a, um, a great topic today, and I think all of us need that reminder of balance in our life. You mentioned those 6 things earlier, the six pillars, and I feel like a lot of us are just working professionals entrepreneurs. We struggle without a life balance and struggle with the things that matter in life. Um, some of it is chasing like shit in life that truly doesn’t matter like all the materialistic things, but we ignore, you know, our friends and our family and our health and building true independent wealth and all these things like the pillars that you mentioned. I think this has been a great conversation, and love to hear the final thoughts you have for our audience as we wrap this up today.

37:18.50

Christopher Ryan

So a few things come to mind. The one thing that comes to mind is for all of your audience. My sincerest hope is they all have communities. They’re involved with maybe its business communities. Maybe it’s entrepreneurial communities there. You know there’s an organization called the Entrepreneurs’ Organization. There’s another organization called the Young Presidents organization. There’s another organization called vestige. These are great organizations for ah, business leaders for entrepreneurs. Can’t recommend them highly enough. Ah, and for folks that are looking just for.

37:45.12

Matt Watson

Yep.

37:55.41

Christopher Ryan

Ah, business advice and acumen for folks that are looking for investment advice. There are some great organizations out there, and my suspicion is you could anyone could probably come across a half dozen of those um where I really um. Where I am really grateful for abundance is the fact that we take kind of like ah both a holistic and a humanistic standpoint in terms and perspective on looking at folks, and so we look to help our members be the best versions of themselves. Across multiple dimensions, you know we’re growing. That’s great. We continue to build programming and opportunities for us to get together and connect. That’s great. That’s great. That’s great. But what I’m most proud about is the fact that. Ah, I will get a text message, phone call, or email. Ah ah, mostly from the members. But every once in a while, one of the spouses and the member will tell me that something that happened within abundance changed their life and made them better men, where I’ve had a few. Ah, wives over the course of the last two years call me and say that they’ve seen an improvement with their husband that has nothing to do with business and has nothing to do with money but their better fathers. They’re better husbands. They’re better community leaders in whatever shape, form, or fashion. You know, for the folks that come to GoBundance to continue to invest and build their wealth for sure. We deliver on that, but we are not only interested in improving your financial life. We’re interested in improving your holistic life. And for those that are interested. The website is https://www.gobundance.com. My name again is Chris Ryan. I’m the CEO. My email is chrisryan@gobundance.com. If there’s something in the context of abundance, or even outside of it, that we can do to help you or to help your listeners, we’re open.

40:03.55

Matt Watson

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being on the show today. I think this is a great reminder for people to join these types of groups, which can be very helpful. We all don’t know it. And we all need help and mentors and friends that are like-minded. So, definitely huge value in these types of groups.

40:25.13

Christopher Ryan

Outstanding, Matt, thank you. And thank you to all your listeners. I hope you guys all have a great day.

40:27.57

Matt Watson

All right. Thanks, everybody.

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