Ep. #829 - The Importance of Emotional Discipline

00:00.00

Lauren Conaway

And we are back. Thank you for joining us for yet another episode of the Startup Hustle podcast I’m your host Lauren Conaway founder and Ceo of InnovateHer Kc, and I have to tell you today’s episode sponsor we are super excited about. Today’s episode of Startup Hustle is sponsored by Canva. You can collaborate and create amazing graphic designs for free whether you are looking to make a presentation or share an idea, create content make a video to launch your business, or social posts to start conversations. Canva is there. You can design anything in it. We are encouraging you to discover the magic of visual communication, and how Canva can help you create a lasting impact today visit http://canva.com for more, so I am super thrilled to have our guest with us today. So our guest we’ve had.

00:54.50

Lauren Conaway

We’ve had conversations in the past, but he has always struck me with his insight and, not only that, his drive; if you’re looking for somebody who displays an entrepreneurial mindset, look no further than today’s guest we’ve got with us Chukky Okobi and he is.

01:06.17

Chukky Okobi

Look at pivot.

01:12.84

Lauren Conaway

He is a super bowl champion, y’all keynote speaker, mindset coach Nlp master practitioner, and trainer kind of ah a jack of alters a real renaissance ban. He’s here with us today with basic instructions, mind mastery guy. Thanks so much for being here with us today.

01:26.40

Chukky Okobi

You know the pleasure pleasures on mine Really, you know, it’s really exciting to be here and be able to share what’s going on in my crazy head with everybody that’s listening right now.

01:31.36

Lauren Conaway

Yes.

01:40.34

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, I gotta tell you, friend you know, the first time we sat down and had coffee together, you should have heard us, folks, like we were just firing all on all cylinders. We have a really meaningful conversation and I of course immediately was like hey Chokki, Do you want to come on the show?

01:50.77

Chukky Okobi

Wonder Really cool.

01:59.44

Lauren Conaway

Because I want to have this conversation with other people so they can benefit from your expertise, right? Like it was such a cool conversation, and I want to thank you for that.

02:06.81

Chukky Okobi

You know I appreciate it. You know takes 2 people to have a conversation, so you had a part to play in the energy of that one. So I appreciate it.

02:14.75

Lauren Conaway

Well, that is too kind, but I want to jump right into it. So I’m going to ask you the the the kind of general question, and I’m going to ask you to tell us about your journey.

02:25.20

Chukky Okobi

My journey. It’s really interesting. Kind of funny when I think about it you know I’m originally from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and you know, fast forward to the end, then I’ll feel in the middle. You know I’ve played for the Steelers for 6 years and won a super bowl my hometown team and it’s a really interesting cause. The fact that I won the super bowl always precedes me and so people are always curious about you know why is it that I coach startup founders and entrepreneurs. Why wouldn’t I coach football or go into the broadcast booth? But what you may not realize is you know for the startup founders out there listening I imagine you’re a lot like me. 1 thing that you may not realize and I’m sure you’ll agree once you hear this is that being an entrepreneur or startup founder or an aspiring NFL Athlete or very similar in nature. Just think about this, you feel the desire for a vivid dream a vision of something bigger than yourself that you feel this burning desire to achieve. Your friends and family. They think you’re crazy I mean you’re striving to do something that most people don’t have the intestinal fortitude to even attempt and most of those that do fail in their efforts yet here you are putting in the hours working at a day after day all this time you’re holding that perfect vision of success. This idea in your mind is you sacrifice blood sweat and tears to make what they say is impossible your reality right now am I talking about an NFL want you hopeful or am I talking about a startup founder. Yeah.

03:45.47

Lauren Conaway

Right.

03:52.61

Lauren Conaway

I Mean you’re you’re talking about both and around so around startup hustle and around entrepreneurial circles. We often talk about the entrepreneurial mindset. You know how the entrepreneur has to overcome obstacles.

03:59.22

Chukky Okobi

And topic I mean and in.

04:07.90

Lauren Conaway

And has to seize see challenges as opportunities and you have to be creative and you have to be resilient and when I think of professional athletes like all of those things apply right? yeah.

04:15.97

Chukky Okobi

Exactly exactly No, that’s where you know connecting with startup founders and the work that I do teaching people meant to an emotional discipline to get their specific desired result. That’s where what my professional history as an athlete. And my current business as a mindset coach and a corporate leadership trainer working with startup founders in their companies. That’s where the rubber meets the road is that I’ve been where you want to go and so you know when you think about reaching your highest potential as a professional for a professional football player.

04:45.90

Lauren Conaway

Right.

04:53.25

Chukky Okobi

That would be winning the super bowl right? So so when you think about what’s your perfect idea for your for your idea. What’s your perfect picture for this inspiration that led you to start your company in the first place when you think about that perfect picture where.

04:53.41

Lauren Conaway

Right.

05:08.85

Chukky Okobi

Everything in your professional and personal life are exactly the way you want it. That’s what I call your super bowl level result and a lot of people will ask me and I wonder what that would feel like for me to win the super bowl. But what they don’t realize is it’s a feeling you’re already very intimately familiar with. I Mean just we all have memories think back to moments in your professional life that gave you those butterflies the feeling of excitement in your stomach The the moments that made your pulse race your breath shallow your heart’s beaten in your ear like a jackhamer.

05:39.15

Lauren Conaway

Pray it.

05:41.70

Chukky Okobi

You see those things now things that took you to levels of fulfillment and satisfaction that felt so right it almost feels wrong. It’s the kind of thing you can’t stop thinking about it goes around and round your head obsessing like a vinyl record just spinning obsessing you obsess about it because you just want to hold on to that feeling.

05:47.84

Lauren Conaway

Now.

05:57.83

Lauren Conaway

Right.

05:59.83

Chukky Okobi

If you can imagine what I’m describing congratulations. You know what? it’s like to win the super bowl the question you gotta ask yourself is what’s preventing me from feeling that way as a startup founder. What’s preventing me from feeling that way about my company about my marriage or my health and fitness.

06:14.87

Lauren Conaway

Right.

06:16.96

Chukky Okobi

And that’s where basic instructions mind mastery comes into play is that to be able to create that vibration within your career within your company to inspire your team to feel that same way. That’s where.

06:29.80

Lauren Conaway

Right.

06:32.17

Chukky Okobi

You know my experience as a world champion winning the super bowl in my hometown can’t get more specific than that. Yeah, that’s where we all want to go with startup founders I Imagine you you relating to what I’m talking about right? Yeah I mean.

06:37.22

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

06:44.25

Lauren Conaway

You know I think I do and so so let me I’m going to check my understanding really quick just to just for clarity’s sake. So so what you’re saying is that you know when you think of like entrepreneurial achievements. You know the the.

06:50.39

Chukky Okobi

Here.

06:57.13

Chukky Okobi

Make right together.

06:59.63

Lauren Conaway

That you had the idea for your business the day that you started your you launched your business the day that you got that Vc funding you know, whatever the victory was the feeling is maybe maybe not transferable. That’s not the word I’m looking for but the feeling is is similar in scope like you still have that same.

07:02.51

Chukky Okobi

Me right.

07:18.18

Lauren Conaway

Depth of emotion and depth of reaction around those winds is that what you’re saying Okay, okay, okay.

07:22.49

Chukky Okobi

Reaction I don’t know if I use the word reaction. So I’ll put asterisk next to that. But in generally creeping. Yes, that is what I’m saying and it’s really recognizing that success can’t be measured on a balance sheet because how many people do we Know. We could think of celebrities who everybody thought oh they had the perfect life. But then they when it took their life So based on based on their balance sheet based on their awards their grammys or their Academy awards or whatever from the outside. It looks like that success but success isn’t outside of you. It’s inside of you.

07:45.33

Lauren Conaway

You know.

07:57.91

Lauren Conaway

Right.

08:00.35

Chukky Okobi

And so to me how many guy how many people have you know or even people that you know think of people in in your history that you’ve had discussions relationships with whether personal or professional who were just miserable even though even though they had a portion of big house.

08:17.35

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

08:19.35

Chukky Okobi

And you know and all these things so to me, it’s about recognizing how does the individual define success for themselves and so we can look at it and we have what I’ll call Myra markers you have numbers that you’re looking to hit. It’s like ah um, a good buddy of mine kery phillips always says.

08:33.37

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

08:38.57

Chukky Okobi

If in business if you’re not talking about a number. You’re not talking about anything and I can definitely relate to that and agree with it. The thing is for the individual if it doesn’t feel like that like what I described you gotta ask yourself what am I missing here? What am I missing because.

08:54.88

Lauren Conaway

Rank.

08:57.51

Chukky Okobi

This success that everybody else thinks is so great. Why doesn’t it feel like that to me and that’s what we’re going after making so making it so that the energy of your business. The energy of your career. The energy of your life feels that way that super bowl level sensation.

09:01.10

Lauren Conaway

Ah, right.

09:10.28

Lauren Conaway

You know that’s awesome. Well so so I want to back up the truck just a little bit because one of the things that impressed me most when I first met you was how clear you are around mindset and your methodology and how you think about.

09:16.22

Chukky Okobi

Just a little.

09:29.24

Chukky Okobi

You go quick.

09:29.96

Lauren Conaway

Thinking and how you how you process and teach others to process these emotions thoughts you know, basically mindset like everything that goes into mindset and so I want to ask you? You know you didn’t just wake up one day.

09:43.11

Chukky Okobi

Here We can.

09:47.69

Lauren Conaway

And have the kind of drive that got you in the super bowl like you didn’t just wake up one day in the Nfl it was I’m assuming that it was a process like over the course of years you trained and you got better and you developed this kind of mental toughness I would say.

09:49.15

Chukky Okobi

Risk.

10:05.10

Lauren Conaway

Um, and I kind of want to know you know where did that come from. How did you develop that you develop the mindset that you have now.

10:13.22

Chukky Okobi

Um, well 1 thing most people don’t realize but when I say this you I imagine you’ll agree. There’s only 2 motivators for human beings is only we’re only motivated by 1 of 2 things neith pain.

10:27.25

Lauren Conaway

Okay.

10:31.63

Chukky Okobi

Something we don’t want or pleasure something that we really do want and so when you think about pain motivators we’re talking about negative emotions anger sadness fear hurt guilt and so a lot of times I think about Jim Rome

10:44.76

Lauren Conaway

Stamps.

10:48.24

Chukky Okobi

You know the the great speaker used to be Tony Robbins’s coach and what he used to say is you know if you’re broke say you’re broke. Maybe you’ll get angry enough to get up and do something that’s a pain motivator is when you want to get away from the situation. Whatever’s happening in your world. That’s causing you to feel.

11:06.74

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, yeah.

11:07.87

Chukky Okobi

Negative that’s a part of motivator then you have the pleasure motivator like oh man it would be really awesome if I made it to the Nfl and so that’s what compels you to move forward and so the way I put it is going back to a conversation I had with. Probably the biggest father figure I had in my life which was my offensive line coach from Purdue Danny hope and he used to talk about recruiting all the time and he said you know just give me the players as a coach I will find a way to win I’ll get the job done. But when I’m recruiting. There’s only 2 types of people.

11:27.23

Lauren Conaway

Students.

11:42.11

Chukky Okobi

You have mules and you have thoroughbreds and so when you talk about a Mule mules give me the mules I’ll find a way to win the game. They don’t have to be the best players. The thing is the mules are motivated by pain. So I’m gonna have to use the stick or use some sort of force to get this thing to move in order for us to work.

11:42.78

Lauren Conaway

Yes, yeah.

12:01.80

Chukky Okobi

Which is more effort for me for me as a coach where I want are thoroughbreds now a lot of people think they’re thoroughbreds but the question you got to ask yourself am I really because a thoroughbred I don’t need the pain I don’t need to stick to get this thing to move I don’t need it i’t even need a carrot.

12:02.37

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

12:16.97

Lauren Conaway

Threat.

12:18.94

Chukky Okobi

All I need to get a thoroughbred going is I’m gonna give you the basic instructions of how to get exactly what you want open the gate and watch him Run Dash’s a thoroughbred is somebody who’s going who feels that draw to to that result that they that they want. Think about it like you know if I was you know back when I was single if I walk into a party and you see that girl across the room and she’s perfect and you’re like oh my God I gotta go over there and talk to her That’s that thoroughbred feeling. It’s like it’s drawing me in I can’t like I can’t stop. Moving towards that and so to me when you think about the mules versus thoroughbred’s dynamic. What gaveming this mindset. It’s a combination.. It’s a combination growing up in a household a lot of domestic violence. A lot of fear and sadness and to me I just wanted to get away from that. Ah, like I wanted to be as a kid I wanted to be anywhere other than at home. That’s my that was my pain motivator.. That’s what I wanted to get away from that and so what I would do is I was the kid who came home from school got out of the school clothes and went right back outside because when I was playing sports all of a sudden.

13:19.00

Lauren Conaway

Um, yeah.

13:32.11

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

13:32.72

Chukky Okobi

Felt important I felt valued I felt good I felt I felt love from my environment and it was the feeling of love did not just love from other people. It’s not external validation I loved myself when I was playing sports that became my pleasure motivator.

13:37.84

Lauren Conaway

My.

13:46.80

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

13:51.72

Chukky Okobi

Was to feel that I didn’t care if I was on television I just wanted to continue to be in that energy of feeling good about myself and so when and that became my focus at about age 7 it was like you know what? if I could do this the rest of my life life will be perfect.

13:58.55

Lauren Conaway

And.

14:10.45

Chukky Okobi

And so when yeah I was 7 So yeah, you think you can play the sports the rest of your life. But the thing is it wasn’t the actual sport I was going after it was the love I had for myself and so that’s where this mindset comes from and a big part of what I do with basic instructions and being here in Kansas city.

14:22.39

Lauren Conaway

Here.

14:28.78

Chukky Okobi

We’ll talk a little bit more about where the whole idea of basic instructions comes from because it actually did come from Kansas but we’ll get there right now right now. It’s like understanding. You know what made what made me get up and go play sports in the first place and then what made me continue to pursue that.

14:34.13

Lauren Conaway

All right.

14:43.44

Lauren Conaway

Right? That’s that’s really powerful man and and I love that your your kind of formative experiences came internally rather than externally I think that’s so important because you can’t control how other people perceive you but you can control. How.

14:52.38

Chukky Okobi

Um, and news.

15:01.29

Chukky Okobi

Yes.

15:02.10

Lauren Conaway

You perceive you and so one of the things that I want to talk to you about because I found this so fascinating when when we’ve talked in the past but the cornerstone or I I think correct me if I’m wrong, but 1 of the cornerstones of your I guess process methodology pedagogy. Whatever you want to call it.

15:06.88

Chukky Okobi

When.

15:20.30

Chukky Okobi

Yes, okay, well first when we think about NLP or neurolinguistic programming the first.

15:20.70

Lauren Conaway

Is something called Neurolinguistic programming and I want to talk about that Tell me what that is and then tell us how it kind of manifests in in your mindset coaching.

15:37.49

Chukky Okobi

Person that comes to mind is Tony Robbins and so need you think about? who’s who’s the foremost the the biggest name in that field. It’s Tony and he’s he’s been ah an lp practitioner for a lot of years. You know what neuro linguistic programming is it sounds complex but it’s actually pretty simple.

15:38.82

Lauren Conaway

Okay, so.

15:56.21

Chukky Okobi

Neuro refers to your neurology or your mind and then linguistic refers to language and communication in programming refers to how does that language function in my neurology neurolinguistic programming How does language affect how my mind functions and so.

15:57.40

Lauren Conaway

Right.

16:14.44

Lauren Conaway

Triumphs.

16:15.20

Chukky Okobi

And to make it in even simpler terms. It’s how does the conversation I have with myself affect how I how I exist how I behave and how I feel emotionally.

16:28.16

Lauren Conaway

Right.

16:30.36

Chukky Okobi

Lot of times people we think that the conversation in our mind is describing our experience. You are 100% wrong the words you’re using your mind actually dictate how you feel and so it it all comes down to understanding if I want my mind to work.

16:39.30

Lauren Conaway

Ah.

16:47.98

Chukky Okobi

As effectively as possible to manifest my desired goal which is to play in the super bowl I mean to start a company or whatever it might be the question is what’s happening inside that’s going to enable me or prevent me.

16:55.20

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

17:05.19

Chukky Okobi

From manifesting what I want outside and thats where I you know where this came from I I got into and op when I was 18 and you know I was in college and I just finished my first year of college football and I didn’t I wasn’t a highly recruited guy wasn’t a superstarre high school athlete and. The only coach the game that offered me a scholarship left and I freaked out long story shorter what happened after having panic attacks and feeling like my dad left all over again. I said you know what I can’t exist like this I got to find an advantage I got to find out something that other players don’t know.

17:27.47

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

17:44.33

Chukky Okobi

Ah, and other schools don’t know and I went to a used bookstore. My thought process was to go looking in the trash. Let me look for some piece of information that nobody else seems interested in and I found this book at this used bookstore on campus in the title of the book is the secret to creating your future. By Dr. Tad James and it was about an lp and so I started reading it I didn’t understand a word he was talking about remember I was 18 and I was like I don’t know what talking about so I put the book down started getting up off this dirty floor but it was like.

18:10.90

Lauren Conaway

Finished.

18:19.24

Chukky Okobi

The title of the book was like glowing off the cover the secret to creating my future and I just remember thinking I need to know his secret and so I said I’m just gonna go deeper and deeper and deeper continue reading this book until it makes sense and all of a sudden it did and I’m put the book down I thought to myself I think I get what he’s saying. He’s saying that your entire world is actually inside. It’s in your mind and I think he’s saying with this nlp stuff neurolinguistic, whatever it was remember I was 18 like whatever this stuff is he’s saying with that you can control what’s going on in your mind. And so my 18 year old logic said hm that means with Nlp I can control my world and I bought the book and it was my secret I didn’t tell my mom I didn’t tell my coaches and tell my teammates this was gonna give me an advantage and it did. You know it. It changed the way I approached my athletic performance. It changed the way I I operated academically it changed the way I operated socially and all of a sudden I started getting my desired results in all these areas including getting drafted to my hometown team.

19:28.31

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

19:30.83

Chukky Okobi

And it all came from taking control of what’s going on inside because the world is. It’s all about how I interpret what’s happening outside. Not actually what people say or do it’s how do I interpret it What story am I telling about this and it’s is that story empowering is that story helping me get closer to my goal.

19:43.83

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

19:50.82

Chukky Okobi

Or am I coming up with reasons why I can’t do it and that’s the that’s that was the big shift I had at age 18 that all of a sudden. My athletic career started to look like a fairy tale when in reality it was tailor made by me, you know and you.

20:03.99

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, so you you are what I love the fact that you are not just a an advocate for this mindset coaching process that you’ve come up with but you were also a practitioner that is that is super cool. Um.

20:09.64

Chukky Okobi

This kind of what.

20:17.22

Chukky Okobi

Yes, Thomas. Democracy going.

20:23.23

Lauren Conaway

Do have to break in really quickly here. Tell you about a little bit about today’s episode sponsor as a reminder today’s episode of startup hustle is sponsored by canva I don’t know if you’ve ever used candava I have and it it canva makes it so easy to design your ideas they have all kinds of templates they have this really really huge. Library of assets. You know, video assets audio assets. Ah you know images that you can use. Oh and I love the fonts I love playing with fonts and canva. But you can design your ideas with ease. They were asking get.

20:57.37

Chukky Okobi

We’re all tours.

20:58.31

Lauren Conaway

Fired with over 5 They have over 500000 free templates which drives me like I just think that that’s crazy. That’s so many so many options to choose from either. They have a rich content library that helps you in routine achieve your goals. So definitely check out http://canva.com sign up and you can start designing for free.

21:01.50

Chukky Okobi

To disappear. It’s crazy.

21:07.33

Chukky Okobi

To my bring to help.

21:16.39

Lauren Conaway

Any tool that makes it easier to be an entrepreneur and get your brand message out there. We love around startup hustle and we’re really really glad that that canvas around I know that it makes my life a lot easier when I’m trying to create content because I’m not a designer and they make it look like I’m a designer which is awesome. So.

21:19.99

Chukky Okobi

Me.

21:29.90

Chukky Okobi

How.

21:36.33

Lauren Conaway

Folks who are just tuning in. We are here with I hold on a second. Oh my God I just choked on my own spit hold on I have to work that down Forgive me oh my gosh.

21:42.13

Chukky Okobi

Um, perfect.

21:55.00

Lauren Conaway

Okay, let’s try that again. Folks who are just tuning in. We are here with choki a kobe he is a super bowl champion a keynote speaker a mindset coach Nlp master practitioner and trainer with bsi constructions mind mastery and we are talking. We’re talking.

22:07.80

Chukky Okobi

Team as to the treatment can seek as far as moving.

22:14.45

Lauren Conaway

About Mindset we’re talking about neurolinguistic programming. But really, we’re talking about how you can change your internal dialogues and your internal processes to create external change in your life is that is that right? cheeky kind of ah, a basic breakdown.

22:27.47

Chukky Okobi

You know you? Yeah I mean yeah I think generally speaking your spot on. It’s It’s all about you know recognizing that I am in control of my results and my life in the president in the future.

22:32.10

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, yeah.

22:40.90

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

22:46.42

Chukky Okobi

And you know, especially we think about startup founders and you know a couple of different things. Come to mind you know when I think about my professional journey. The word that’s popping into my head right now is empowerment and when we talked about the word empowerment at the deepest level What empowerment is it’s just a feeling when you.

22:56.45

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

23:05.36

Chukky Okobi

Deep down you feel this feeling inside that you are truly in control of your life and results in the present moment and you can naturally see how your life your career that positive feeling of empowerment is what makes it easy to envision accomplishing your desired results in the future now I’m sure you the great. It feels really good to connect with. Professionals who can appreciate how important it is to connect to this this feeling of empowerment and it all starts in the mind what you see in your mind now that you’d love to experience in the future for your your idea and inspiration to start up this company as vivid as it is in your mind now. Now. It’s easy to imagine you would feel exponentially better when you take the necessary actions to bring this vision into reality the same way I did that got me to back home to Pittsburgh and went in the super bowl. My favorite theme.

23:55.74

Lauren Conaway

That’s that’s absolutely incredible now I have a topic that I actually want to introduce this topic because I was so intrigued when we were when we were talking about this last time and I promised myself that we were going to talk about it So that that our listeners could hear.

24:01.65

Chukky Okobi

Okay I retain gone.

24:11.46

Chukky Okobi

Um, yeah, the dog. It’s really understanding that you know you ever heard the saying that we only as humans use 10% of our minds you ever heard that before it’s being that it’s not true.

24:13.34

Lauren Conaway

But hey Cheeky tell me about the dog. What’s the dog.

24:24.24

Lauren Conaway

Yeah I’ve heard it.

24:29.50

Chukky Okobi

Use 100% it’s just that there’s 2 different types of thinking for humans which is your you have your conscious mind and your unconscious or subconscious mind. So when you think about the conscious mind imagine you but you would maybe age 4 You know like a little kid right.

24:36.20

Lauren Conaway

Spread.

24:46.14

Lauren Conaway

The.

24:48.70

Chukky Okobi

Excited you, you know before it’s you before life happens. So you’re totally happy and optimistic about the future you’re you’re feeling good. You’ve got big plans. You’ve got your best friend with you which we’ll get into that in a minute and you got the leash. That’s your conscious mind is the kid now. Your best friend is with you. That’s the dog and you’re both 4 years old the difference is you’re a 4 year old human and this is a 4 year old great Dane so it’s much bigger and stronger than you doesn’t think in the complex ways humans do. But.

25:08.11

Lauren Conaway

And.

25:25.50

Chukky Okobi

It’s big and strong way bigger than the kid but it would never hurt you. It loves you more than anything because dog is man’s best friend. The dog is your unconscious your subconscious mind and so it’s like when I was on the Steelers bill cower. You just won the hall of fame last year and there’s something that he said to us.

25:34.49

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

25:44.32

Chukky Okobi

And a team meeting when things weren’t going the way we had planned that season and what he said after we lost our third straight game is he came in looked at us as a group and said guys you don’t know what you don’t know. And believe it or not It’s what you don’t know that you don’t know that’s running the show called our season right now and since you don’t know what you don’t know think about this and think deeply into it. How do you know? what? you think you do know is right? Don’t answer me just contemplate this. You don’t know what you don’t know now.

26:16.33

Lauren Conaway

Right.

26:19.11

Chukky Okobi

What you don’t know that you don’t know is what’s in your unconscious mind what you don’t know you don’t know is the dog and so it’s once you understand this dynamic about yourself. It’s much easier to differentiate between logic which is that 10% that they referred to.

26:38.53

Lauren Conaway

Okay.

26:38.66

Chukky Okobi

That’s what you’re conscious of but there’s a lot more going on inside and so the dog is in charge of all your unconscious functions like most people never consider what’s keeping my heart beating right now. How am I maintaining my deep breathing as I sleep you know. Digesting food eyes blinking all these things we can agree we’re doing but we’re not consciously aware of or controlling. That’s the dog’s job. The dogs keep your heart beating. Can you think of a better friend than that and now Lord, you’ve never woke up in the morning and said today’s the day.

27:01.50

Lauren Conaway

Okay.

27:12.98

Chukky Okobi

I’m making a conscious decision right now to be pissed off at everything it never happens that way right? because emotions are the dog emotions are unconscious functions of our human mind and so when you understand him.

27:17.20

Lauren Conaway

Sure. Nope.

27:30.74

Chukky Okobi

Why do I Why am I feeling having anxiety. Why do I feel afraid why does this certain thing continue to piss me off. It’s because that’s how the dog’s been trained and so once you learn to control once you learn how to train the dog. This is what I do with startup founders is teach emotional.

27:39.66

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

27:49.58

Chukky Okobi

Discipline an emotional discipline is something I learned in my studies from studying Andrew Carnegie at one point the richest man that had ever lived in his book from 198 the the gospel of wealth. He identified the number one requisite to have his type of success in business. And that is emotional discipline king are you in control of the dog you have the leash but are you taking control of it. Are you controlling yourself and that’s what the dog is.

28:19.12

Lauren Conaway

For sure. Well and I find it so interesting that you’ve you’ve mentioned so many different thought leaders here in the space in which you exist and so I love the fact that you’ve been able to pull. Expertise and ideology from I mean who who have you mentioned you’ve mentioned Andrew Carnegie you’ve mentioned you know the gentleman who wrote the the first book that you read, um, you know? yeah you know well and I just find it so interesting that that you’ve been able to come to your own truth through.

28:40.31

Chukky Okobi

Um, Mr. Book Pat James yep

28:53.56

Lauren Conaway

So much self-education and so much emulation of people that you admire and exhibit the mindset that you you know that you want to want to have and you want to share with others and I just love that I think that’s so cool that you’ve been able to do the work to kind of come up with.

29:05.75

Chukky Okobi

In.

29:13.60

Lauren Conaway

With your own methodology like this is what works for me as a super bowl champion and as a coach and as a mindset master and now I get to share it with others that is so neat.

29:17.52

Chukky Okobi

Mean exactly exactly I mean a big thing is you know going back to the you know meals versus thorough bests pain Motivators Pleasure Motivators is my dad wasn’t around and so I found my father figures whether that be. You know people I write about coaches that I you know were my coaches through sports through baseball and football and you know you always find models of excellence people who have the type of results that you’re looking for and you know just like that Super bowl level result in Sports. There’s a lot of founders out there who want that super bowl level result in their business and in their inspiration that they have to do what they’re doing and that’s what I coach people on is how do you do? What I did and get that super bowl level result and you know comes From. You know if you don’t have a father.

29:57.81

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

30:05.37

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

30:11.44

Lauren Conaway

You got to find it somewhere. Well I so much admiration and respect for for the work that you have done both internally and externally to to support yourself and to support others now I’m going to ask you to do it just a little bit more.

30:11.90

Chukky Okobi

Got to find father figures and that’s what I yeah.

30:26.62

Chukky Okobi

To.

30:31.13

Lauren Conaway

1 of the things that I love to do on on startup hustle is ask for that kind of tactical advice that the folks listening at home can implement today to make their lives their work their you know their experience better.

30:44.77

Chukky Okobi

Significant.

30:46.62

Lauren Conaway

And so if you had to give you know just a tip or 2 I’m not asking you to give away the farm or anything like that and I will say if you’re interested ah choy is available for consulting and would love to help you improve your mindsets to definitely reach out to them but can you give us just a couple of tips and tricks that folks at home can use today.

30:59.37

Chukky Okobi

For to? yeah absolutely 1 thing that most people already know when I say this, you’d be like yeah I already know that is you know our minds.

31:04.89

Lauren Conaway

To to improve their mindset and improve their performance.

31:19.70

Chukky Okobi

And our physical bodies are connected right? But how are they connected I can tell you it’s the breath breathing. So check this out when you learn to control your breathing it helps you to control the dog because like when I’m angry I start breathing.

31:19.48

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, yeah.

31:25.75

Lauren Conaway

Okay.

31:33.26

Lauren Conaway

Okay.

31:38.91

Chukky Okobi

Or if I’m afraid I start breathing Irregularly So if I breathe and make a habit out of taking those deep breaths and breathing in a calm way. It actually helps me to control the dog because the dog will say oh we must not be mad because she’s breathing. Deeply in in evenly. So We must. Everything must be all right? So I would suggest you need to start taking more deep breaths that’ll help you feel Better. Um.

32:05.65

Lauren Conaway

Okay, do you recommend like meditation in conjunction with the deep breaths or just start with breathing and then maybe meditation can come later like what do you think about that.

32:15.00

Chukky Okobi

Well the meditation and the breathing well breathing is is part of meditation. You know I teach meditation and tad James was a transcendental. He’s a transcendental meditation teacher. The you know the book I found back in college and and you know my coach now his son Matt James

32:20.38

Lauren Conaway

Yes.

32:27.94

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

32:34.35

Chukky Okobi

Is also you know, ah the Ph D and Hypnosis So meditation is definitely I Would definitely recommend that breathing is something we do all day every day. So most people don’t recognize that when the dog’s barking the dog’s angry. They stop breathing.

32:43.95

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

32:49.99

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

32:51.99

Chukky Okobi

So when you find yourself in a situation where you feel negative emotions coming up. That’s when you need to take control of that leash and start breathing deeply and that that’ll help you navigate those difficult moments I mean how many times you’ve seen somebody upset and they say okay take a deep breath. Great.

32:59.21

Lauren Conaway

Right.

33:06.40

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, no it. It makes total sense now. Let’s say that you’re dealing with a situation of consequence like it could be something that gives you anxiety or something that makes you sad or something that makes you really frustrated and angry. Um, you adjust your breathing.

33:11.62

Chukky Okobi

You know.

33:24.95

Chukky Okobi

Yeah I.

33:25.78

Lauren Conaway

You know breathe in breathe out Calm Breath Steady Breath What are some ways that you can adjust the I’ve heard the phrase stinking thinking like I’ve heard that before but you know what are some ways that you can redirect that thought process as you’re adjusting your breathing to come to a.

33:35.88

Chukky Okobi

You What is.

33:45.57

Lauren Conaway

It’s the same conclusion but find a different path to it.

33:47.86

Chukky Okobi

Well, you know it goes back to what we talked about earlier and I gotta point out something in the way that you ask the question. He says something gives me anxiety. No the anxieties inside you the anxiety came because of the story that you told about whatever you were looking at you you created it. You literally.

33:54.36

Lauren Conaway

10

34:02.21

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

34:07.80

Chukky Okobi

Said something into yourself about whatever you were experiencing something you heard something you saw something you felt and then you told that story to the dog and his and he’s gonna give you yeah, nothing nothing Not how do how do you.

34:14.79

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, you introduce dot your fear your anxiety so often it it became a process.

34:25.59

Chukky Okobi

You know, really really simplify and start to become in power take control is you have to recognize that everything that you experience you created and it were created based on the conversation you have with yourself. It’s like Dr Matt james my coach told me.

34:32.98

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

34:41.25

Chukky Okobi

And anytime you point to something outside of yourself as to why you’re not experiencing like this is pissing me off. This is giving me anxiety. This is that it’s his fault. It’s her fault What you’re really saying is they control me. That’s what you’re saying and if you keep tellinging the dog that it becomes a belief and you feel like.

34:54.23

Lauren Conaway

Yeah, yeah.

35:01.80

Chukky Okobi

The world is against you and all these stories about what’s wrong and why I can’t and why I’m not and the thing is you’re the one that put that record on the turntable and so you got to start to take control. You got to own that start to do what I like to call focus enjoyably nward.

35:09.30

Lauren Conaway

Right.

35:17.65

Lauren Conaway

Yeah.

35:19.97

Chukky Okobi

Instead of focusing on something out there and then saying that they’re in charge of your dog. No, you’re in charge of your dog nobody can piss you off, but you can decide to be angry.

35:28.94

Lauren Conaway

Right? know that that makes sense and folks I have to tell you that one of my favorite things about talking with choki is that and he’s done it a couple of times here and he did it. You know several times when we first chatted but he has this knack for challenging.

35:39.51

Chukky Okobi

Here together here. This is what this way.

35:47.40

Chukky Okobi

Then.

35:47.97

Lauren Conaway

Thinking? Um, and so so if you are ever interested in a mindset coach who’s going to stretch you and push you I cannot recommend choy enough because I can tell you that every time we talk I walk away with just ah my mind is full of new ways of thinking and new ways of approaching. The way that I talk to myself and the way that I experience things. So I just wanted to point that out because I think that’s one of your gifts juy. Um, so I’m going to ask you I’m going to ask you the human question now and I I don’t I don’t always let the previous conversation that we’ve had inform.

36:13.28

Chukky Okobi

Not free short that.

36:26.87

Lauren Conaway

Human question. But I think in your case I’m I’m gonna make an exception and I’m gonna do it and your human question is this. You have a lot of gifts if you were a superhero. What would your superpower be.

36:28.64

Chukky Okobi

So you direct.

36:39.52

Chukky Okobi

If I was a superhero my superpower would be site be on site be like professor ax from Xmen you know in terms of being able to.

36:50.12

Lauren Conaway

Ooh That’s a good one.

36:55.71

Chukky Okobi

You know, really see things for what they are instead of the story I tell about it. It’s like that’s like Ultra ultra reality Really starting to see that there’s a difference between the actual environment and my reaction to the environment.

37:00.12

Lauren Conaway

Yeah. Yes.

37:12.19

Lauren Conaway

Yeah I love that answer so much and I feel like it’s so fitting for you I can’t I can’t even stand how fitting that is for you. It’s making me giggle. Ah well I gotta tell you thank you so much.

37:14.92

Chukky Okobi

You know. Night or feel up.

37:25.98

Chukky Okobi

My print.

37:27.67

Lauren Conaway

Taking the time to chat with us today I knew that this was going to be a good episode and I have been proven correct that I’m just very grateful that you took the time.

37:34.66

Chukky Okobi

I appreciate you guys having me here and you know it’s it’s my passion to share this with other people you know people why Don I coach football. It’s like I am coaching you on how I found success in football and now you can get to find success and whatever you want to do.

37:40.88

Lauren Conaway

Um, yeah. Yeah, well exactly I mean you’re you’re applying some of the same principles. But your scope is so much bigger. Um, you know you’re able to impact all different kinds of lives and I just.

37:53.11

Chukky Okobi

Hold your. You.

38:02.85

Lauren Conaway

I love that and again I just I thank you for that and I honor you for that. We also need to honor our episode sponsor once again, a big. Thank you today’s episode sponsor is canva so with canva you can work together from wherever I think this is so cool. You can actually collaborate with your teams in real time.

38:06.37

Chukky Okobi

You have computer.

38:21.23

Lauren Conaway

On things like graphics and videos and all of that content that you want to create get on the same page as your team with seamless real-time collaboration and then ask yourself what are you going to design today. You can start exploring and start designing for free at http://canva.com I also want to recommend that you keep an eye out for other.

38:26.24

Chukky Okobi

Loc you two it. My stimul real to here.

38:40.10

Lauren Conaway

Hosts on the startup hustle podcast. Of course we have Matt Squared Matt and Matt they do great episodes but we also have Andrew Morgans I don’t know if you ever listen to his episodes but they are fantastic if you are looking to explore the e-commerce space and we invite you to check ander out. He is a world-renowned thought leader. Around e-commerce and in particular Amazon. So if you’re looking for some insight and ways to improve your your internet sales. He’s the guy. We’ve got him here on startup hustle definitely check out his episodes friends. We are so very grateful that you take the time week after week to sit down with us and. Listen to our stories and hear all about the Hashtag startup hustle. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your attention. Thank you for sharing your stories with us and we will catch you on the flip side.

39:21.60

Chukky Okobi

Text scroll 2 turn knit.